1/10/16
12:45am
I hate late night thoughts but i just cant keep it on my head. I just need to say it out. I do not know why guys a oblivious enough to know that our conversation is getting lesser and lesser? Or It is quite different. Why cant feel that way? I am not that sad but i am quite disappointed. He is not what i think he were. All he say eventually turn out as a lie? Ok, i treated this person as a friend nothing much but he is like SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO me. As in : the way we think , our humour. Everything changes last three days ago. I do not know why. Like the fck? If you are bored just say. Dont make me look stupid. If you are using me, i suggest you to get a fcking life. I treated you sincerely. I do not have doubt. BUT you make to doubt you because you are chatting with one of my close friend. THANKFULLY, i have one week MC so i wont be looking at your fcking face which makes me depressed. It is okay because i dont need a guy like you that make use of me. I know you are chatting with one of my close friend but that doesnt mean you gonna just walk away from me like that? I will see when will ' I WONT LEAVE' will last. I dont think it will last LOL. because we are just classmates. I can leave whenever the fck i want because i do not need useless mafakas in my fcking life. I just need someone that will stay with me and understand me. I thought you will understand me but sadly you dont. I felt suckish. I felt useless. I just wish you luck in everything you do. I had enough with guys shits.
ok bye la i want charge laptop dah. GOODNIGHT.
Friday 30 September 2016
Wednesday 28 September 2016
Mixture of feelings.
28/9/16
Its been a long time that didn't went into my blog. Lately my gpa score was fine , manage to get 3.3 . Many projects happening this year. I just have to be strong and tawakal diri. Right now, i am having chicken pox. How sucks. This is the first time that ive gotten chicken pox. 17 YEARS OLD. Da tua bangka. It was because i didnt get when i was younger and idk why. Two weeks of holiday has passed by and next week i need to get back with reality. From what i could foresee, i could not get back to school. I have so much scars on my face. All the dots happening on my face are getting worst. I just cant wait for this chickenpox to recover.
Apparently, my life was quite off at times. This guy whatsapped me like out of a sudden? I am okay with it because i treated him as a friend ONLY. I do not wanna go far because i know guy my age is not even serious about RS. WHICH MY PREDICTION WAS RIGHT. One time, my friend which is a girl told me that she is chatting with him. That makes me shock. Aku nak panggil laki tu bodoh pon tk tau eh. Dia gi bobal ngn orang yang aku dekat da kenape? Da sah sah tau, pompan tu will tell her close friend who is she chatting with anytime. Come on boy, what the actual fck you are doing with your life? Are you on the right lane? The way you chatted with her is the same you did to me. oh my god. What is you motive ? This just got me thinking. I am just feeling disappointed with your actions towards me. Luckily , i did not fall with your sweet words because i know guys will sugar coat girls with their filthy words that make girls fall in love. My disappointment makes me burst into tears. I do not know why im i having this treatment ? Now, He is just giving me cold replies & replying me late? Plus this just got me very anxious. What did i do wrong? Just speak up. I thought you say you hated people running around the bushes? You say hate your ex controlling you? You say that it is hard to find loyalty. Fck it boy. Suck your words back up. You even say that you wont even leave me? OK. That sentence just make me cringe. I don't mean to be rude but I know that people will eventually leave at the end of the day. I tried not to catch feelings but it makes me feel so disappointed and sad. Why are you doing this to me? What wrongs have i did to you lately? I believe that i did not do any shits to you. What the fck are you doing in this world. WHEN you told me that you slept with someone doing your trip, makes me feel disgusted with you. You still could say ' It is fine sleeping with your goodfriend what?' . All i could say is ' HAHAHA okay?!' damn boy, what the fck. THAT just disgust me in disguise. I am so greaful to have my close friends asking me whether i am fine. It is such a sweet gesture of them although i am sick. I am clearly, not an option for you boy. If you think that i am an option to you, get the fck out from my life. I do not need temporary people in my life. Just speak the straight up with me, i would rather get hurt by the truth than a lie.
I am tired of this. I knew it from the start i wasn't meant to be inlove or even chat with anyone. I know i am not beautiful , smart , greatest , sweet all those full package. I just cant wait to graduate in ITE. Proceed my life with Diploma. Most probably if theres Rezeki, I would love to continue my studies in a University getting a Degree. I hope that i could reach my career goals as a cabin crew. I just want to meet different type of people.
Its been a long time that didn't went into my blog. Lately my gpa score was fine , manage to get 3.3 . Many projects happening this year. I just have to be strong and tawakal diri. Right now, i am having chicken pox. How sucks. This is the first time that ive gotten chicken pox. 17 YEARS OLD. Da tua bangka. It was because i didnt get when i was younger and idk why. Two weeks of holiday has passed by and next week i need to get back with reality. From what i could foresee, i could not get back to school. I have so much scars on my face. All the dots happening on my face are getting worst. I just cant wait for this chickenpox to recover.
Apparently, my life was quite off at times. This guy whatsapped me like out of a sudden? I am okay with it because i treated him as a friend ONLY. I do not wanna go far because i know guy my age is not even serious about RS. WHICH MY PREDICTION WAS RIGHT. One time, my friend which is a girl told me that she is chatting with him. That makes me shock. Aku nak panggil laki tu bodoh pon tk tau eh. Dia gi bobal ngn orang yang aku dekat da kenape? Da sah sah tau, pompan tu will tell her close friend who is she chatting with anytime. Come on boy, what the actual fck you are doing with your life? Are you on the right lane? The way you chatted with her is the same you did to me. oh my god. What is you motive ? This just got me thinking. I am just feeling disappointed with your actions towards me. Luckily , i did not fall with your sweet words because i know guys will sugar coat girls with their filthy words that make girls fall in love. My disappointment makes me burst into tears. I do not know why im i having this treatment ? Now, He is just giving me cold replies & replying me late? Plus this just got me very anxious. What did i do wrong? Just speak up. I thought you say you hated people running around the bushes? You say hate your ex controlling you? You say that it is hard to find loyalty. Fck it boy. Suck your words back up. You even say that you wont even leave me? OK. That sentence just make me cringe. I don't mean to be rude but I know that people will eventually leave at the end of the day. I tried not to catch feelings but it makes me feel so disappointed and sad. Why are you doing this to me? What wrongs have i did to you lately? I believe that i did not do any shits to you. What the fck are you doing in this world. WHEN you told me that you slept with someone doing your trip, makes me feel disgusted with you. You still could say ' It is fine sleeping with your goodfriend what?' . All i could say is ' HAHAHA okay?!' damn boy, what the fck. THAT just disgust me in disguise. I am so greaful to have my close friends asking me whether i am fine. It is such a sweet gesture of them although i am sick. I am clearly, not an option for you boy. If you think that i am an option to you, get the fck out from my life. I do not need temporary people in my life. Just speak the straight up with me, i would rather get hurt by the truth than a lie.
I am tired of this. I knew it from the start i wasn't meant to be inlove or even chat with anyone. I know i am not beautiful , smart , greatest , sweet all those full package. I just cant wait to graduate in ITE. Proceed my life with Diploma. Most probably if theres Rezeki, I would love to continue my studies in a University getting a Degree. I hope that i could reach my career goals as a cabin crew. I just want to meet different type of people.
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