24/12/16
12:45pm
Apparently , yesterday was my result. Alhamdulilah Syukur Kepada Allah S.w.t ! I didnt expect that i could get 3.7 gpa! It was a total shock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!This is like a miracle ! I thought i was a lil dumb lol. My hard work pays off! I am so happy for myself. This is the first time that i am proud of myself for 17 years of my life. How SADDENING ! I have to work extra hard next year because it is a crucial year for me. I just hope i could get 3.5 and above. I'm determined to go to a Second Year Higher Nitec then i'll proceed to POLY! Booyah! It is the END of my YEAR 1 NITEC! Year 2 please be good to me okay.....
I do not know why is my heart gets a little worried these days. I do not know whether it is because of him or me. I have lots of thoughts going on my mind right now but i do not know how to express it in words. You feel me? My words are crumble into one. I'm confused. I am abit afraid of loosing a guy like him. Like i really do. Another side of me says why im i facing this? Why im i developing feelings for somebody? Why im i in this position of LOVE? I am not prepared for hearbreaks.. I get a little frustrated when i think about it because i dont think people would be able to understand what i am feeling. I can't complain that much because this is my fate already. Maybe Allah knows whats the best for me & He want me to learn how to love somebody....... I do not know whether is this guy a lesson or a blessings. I hope it is a blessings for me to love for the rest of my life one day. If it is a lesson, i think i am not interested in knowing other guys anymore. Right now, i do not know why i am stressing on this. I AM GETTING A LIL FRUSTRATED. I have to stop sighing and appreciate what is in front of me. I keep having ' TSKKKKKKKKK, Hais, Ugh' In me. Like WHY?? Its okay i just be patient and have faith..........................................
Friday 23 December 2016
Saturday 17 December 2016
Overall
18/12/16
1:17pm
First of all i do not know what type of title i should put. Mind me. I do not know what should i feel. Should i give love a chance? I really do not know whether i should. I just feel like we have something really common. I do not want anyone know about me and him. Except the one that im close with. Talking to him just really make me smile. This is just an unexpected feeling from me because i am the type of person wont fall that someone that fast and trust all the words that he said. It is hard for me to like that someone. Why now.. I do not want to loose him. What if one day he did leave me or vise versa. LOL. I am not ready for any heartbreaking moments because i have no time for that. To me it is just a waste of time and energy. I could use that time and energy to do something much fun. What if the family couldnt accept me one day? LOL. HAHHA aku ni da la gile, once orang tak suke aku, aku straight to the point je. On a serious note, what if ? Theres aloooot of what if going on in my mind. What if the girl that he used to contact me will hate me. What is her reaction gonna be like? What if she thinks that i am trying to snatch away ? ( lol whereby i do not have any intention of snatching away because i don't do that shit i'ma chill ass bitch) What if she thinks that i do not have any other guy to chat with? What if she going to think differently about me.. Ugh. What i'm i going to do? Ya Allah , please attached her with someone soon. I got the huge feeling that she still love him. I dont think she really moved on. Mampos la. Why just why. I am scared to confess my love towards him. He could love me when i couldnt love myself. I actually still have the phobia of confessing. What if it is still the same answer when i get it from my old crush. I just cant stop thinking about it without shedding a tears. Ya Allah, you know how i felt deeply. Ease it for me to handle it. I just really love him. I couldn't afford to lose him one day. He is like the one that i am finding. I am still confuse with my own feelings on whether i should like him? I do actually but i do not know. Words circulating my mind. Im just really confused........................ :(
1:17pm
First of all i do not know what type of title i should put. Mind me. I do not know what should i feel. Should i give love a chance? I really do not know whether i should. I just feel like we have something really common. I do not want anyone know about me and him. Except the one that im close with. Talking to him just really make me smile. This is just an unexpected feeling from me because i am the type of person wont fall that someone that fast and trust all the words that he said. It is hard for me to like that someone. Why now.. I do not want to loose him. What if one day he did leave me or vise versa. LOL. I am not ready for any heartbreaking moments because i have no time for that. To me it is just a waste of time and energy. I could use that time and energy to do something much fun. What if the family couldnt accept me one day? LOL. HAHHA aku ni da la gile, once orang tak suke aku, aku straight to the point je. On a serious note, what if ? Theres aloooot of what if going on in my mind. What if the girl that he used to contact me will hate me. What is her reaction gonna be like? What if she thinks that i am trying to snatch away ? ( lol whereby i do not have any intention of snatching away because i don't do that shit i'ma chill ass bitch) What if she thinks that i do not have any other guy to chat with? What if she going to think differently about me.. Ugh. What i'm i going to do? Ya Allah , please attached her with someone soon. I got the huge feeling that she still love him. I dont think she really moved on. Mampos la. Why just why. I am scared to confess my love towards him. He could love me when i couldnt love myself. I actually still have the phobia of confessing. What if it is still the same answer when i get it from my old crush. I just cant stop thinking about it without shedding a tears. Ya Allah, you know how i felt deeply. Ease it for me to handle it. I just really love him. I couldn't afford to lose him one day. He is like the one that i am finding. I am still confuse with my own feelings on whether i should like him? I do actually but i do not know. Words circulating my mind. Im just really confused........................ :(
Friday 2 December 2016
Hey December
2/12/2016
9:06pm
Helo! It is finally december! A break like finally! Exam are over! Time past really fast this year. It feel like just yesterday i entered ITE! Next year i am already in YEAR 2 ! It is my final year of being a nitec student ! How exciting. LOL. I just couldnt wait to enter poly because why not! I just hope i could enter Higher Nitec year 2. I wanna concentrate real well in class. No playing games. No jokes. No disturbing of teachers. Speaking of which, i will still disturb and fight with my lecturer. Being a business student is quite stressful because theres lot of things to focus on. However, next year subject is going to be a pain in the ass though. Accounting siak. Shit bro. Is just i know or i dont know. Actually ive wanting to join POA class in Sec 3 but sadly by one MARK i just couldnt join. It is okay tkde rezeki. Maybe next year is my chance to study Accounting? Which i believe it is going to be hard. May Allah Guide Me! Ya Allah!
I have things going on my mind right now. Apparently, my siblings already knew about HIM. It is just getting annoying for them to disturb me. They said why did i chose him instead of any other malay guys out there. All i could say to them is '' I don't want '' . I dont mean to be rude but is just a part of me. I used to believe ' Right people, wrong timing' . However, i do not believe it now. If Allah have already pass to us someone to love us whole heartedly and stay in our life why would we push them away. It just shows we do not appreciate what is in front for us. I admit that i was once that person who pushed others that loved me. I feel bad by doing that because i just push away A person that wanting to know me. To be very honest, i was a bit confused when he started to chat with me. Abit skeptical about it. I feel like giving up at that point of time but my heart asked me to give him a chance. That one day he could say something to me. I was not entirely convinced with my choice but He made me so happy and we have the same mindset especially in humor. I just hope he meant on what he say by not leaving and will not feel bored because i have yet to tell him on what i felt about love. I actually have given up. I do not believe in loving others but when he came into my life making me smile and make me feel something else just excites me. Whenever i feel like pushing him away i just can't. Theres something in him makes me really excited. I just hope he will be the last for me. On the serious note, not everyone know what is happening between us. I told the one that i fully trusted on. I just hope he is a blessing and the one that i love one day. Ive always think that will he willing to convert sincerely one day? I will definitely keep it lowkey as possible. I will make everyone wonders who im i with. I guess if one day i am ready to show who i am with. I will. For now we are just friends. He doesnt know that i like him but if he feels that way then he is right.. I am just afraid to confess. I have this fear of confessing because of that stupid crush of mine. I just got to be strong one day to confess. May i have faith in me.. Ugh. I just need to know him more.... I hope he will stay by my side...
9:06pm
Helo! It is finally december! A break like finally! Exam are over! Time past really fast this year. It feel like just yesterday i entered ITE! Next year i am already in YEAR 2 ! It is my final year of being a nitec student ! How exciting. LOL. I just couldnt wait to enter poly because why not! I just hope i could enter Higher Nitec year 2. I wanna concentrate real well in class. No playing games. No jokes. No disturbing of teachers. Speaking of which, i will still disturb and fight with my lecturer. Being a business student is quite stressful because theres lot of things to focus on. However, next year subject is going to be a pain in the ass though. Accounting siak. Shit bro. Is just i know or i dont know. Actually ive wanting to join POA class in Sec 3 but sadly by one MARK i just couldnt join. It is okay tkde rezeki. Maybe next year is my chance to study Accounting? Which i believe it is going to be hard. May Allah Guide Me! Ya Allah!
I have things going on my mind right now. Apparently, my siblings already knew about HIM. It is just getting annoying for them to disturb me. They said why did i chose him instead of any other malay guys out there. All i could say to them is '' I don't want '' . I dont mean to be rude but is just a part of me. I used to believe ' Right people, wrong timing' . However, i do not believe it now. If Allah have already pass to us someone to love us whole heartedly and stay in our life why would we push them away. It just shows we do not appreciate what is in front for us. I admit that i was once that person who pushed others that loved me. I feel bad by doing that because i just push away A person that wanting to know me. To be very honest, i was a bit confused when he started to chat with me. Abit skeptical about it. I feel like giving up at that point of time but my heart asked me to give him a chance. That one day he could say something to me. I was not entirely convinced with my choice but He made me so happy and we have the same mindset especially in humor. I just hope he meant on what he say by not leaving and will not feel bored because i have yet to tell him on what i felt about love. I actually have given up. I do not believe in loving others but when he came into my life making me smile and make me feel something else just excites me. Whenever i feel like pushing him away i just can't. Theres something in him makes me really excited. I just hope he will be the last for me. On the serious note, not everyone know what is happening between us. I told the one that i fully trusted on. I just hope he is a blessing and the one that i love one day. Ive always think that will he willing to convert sincerely one day? I will definitely keep it lowkey as possible. I will make everyone wonders who im i with. I guess if one day i am ready to show who i am with. I will. For now we are just friends. He doesnt know that i like him but if he feels that way then he is right.. I am just afraid to confess. I have this fear of confessing because of that stupid crush of mine. I just got to be strong one day to confess. May i have faith in me.. Ugh. I just need to know him more.... I hope he will stay by my side...
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