Hey December

2/12/2016
9:06pm

Helo! It is finally december! A break like finally! Exam are over! Time past really fast this year. It feel like just yesterday i entered ITE! Next year i am already in YEAR 2 ! It is my final year of being a nitec student ! How exciting. LOL. I just couldnt wait to enter poly because why not! I just hope i could enter Higher Nitec year 2. I wanna concentrate real well in class. No playing games. No jokes. No disturbing of teachers. Speaking of which, i will still disturb and fight with my lecturer. Being a business student is quite stressful because theres lot of things to focus on. However, next year subject is going to be a pain in the ass though. Accounting siak. Shit bro. Is just i know or i dont know. Actually ive wanting to join POA class in Sec 3 but sadly by one MARK i just couldnt join. It is okay tkde rezeki. Maybe next year is my chance to study Accounting? Which i believe it is going to be hard. May Allah Guide Me! Ya Allah!

I have things going on my mind right now. Apparently, my siblings already knew about HIM. It is just getting annoying for them to disturb me. They said why did i chose him instead of any other malay guys out there. All i could say to them is '' I don't want '' . I dont mean to be rude but is just a part of me. I used to believe ' Right people, wrong timing' . However, i do not believe it now. If Allah have already pass to us someone to love us whole heartedly and stay in our life why would we push them away. It just shows we do not appreciate what is in front for us. I admit that i was once that person who pushed others that loved me. I feel bad by doing that because i just push away A person that wanting to know me. To be very honest, i was a bit confused when he started to chat with me. Abit skeptical about it. I feel like giving up at that point of time but my heart asked me to give him a chance. That one day he could say something to me. I was not entirely convinced with my choice but He made me so happy and we have the same mindset especially in humor. I just hope he meant on what he say by not leaving and will not feel bored because i have yet to tell him on what i felt about love. I actually have given up. I do not believe in loving others but when he came into my life making me smile and make me feel something else just excites me. Whenever i feel like pushing him away i just can't. Theres something in him makes me really excited. I just hope he will be the last for me. On the serious note, not everyone know what is happening between us. I told the one that i fully trusted on. I just hope he is a blessing and the one that i love one day. Ive always think that will he willing to convert sincerely one day? I will definitely keep it lowkey as possible. I will make everyone wonders who im i with. I guess if one day i am ready to show who i am with. I will. For now we are just friends. He doesnt know that i like him but if he feels that way then he is right.. I am just afraid to confess. I have this fear of confessing because of that stupid crush of mine. I just got to be strong one day to confess. May i have faith in me.. Ugh. I just need to know him more.... I hope he will stay by my side...